The Joys Of Love...

Recently life's been stressful for me, I have a lot going on at home, school's not brilliant, and generally, life's hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who think that I am the only person in the world who has problems and everyone should listen to mine, I detest people like that. I know my problems are certainly not the worst out there, but they are hard for a 15 year old girl, who's loosing the one person who's her rock, who has been diagnosed with a difficult illness, and who is failing school.

I can't begin to thank all the people that are going out of their way to help me through everything, even if they are going through stuff themselves. They know who they are. But this blog is set out for one person in particular. We've been talking since the 19th of October 2011 exactly, and every single day has been a gift with him. He makes me feel like I'm some kind of angel, even though i know I'm now, he's the most genuine guy I have met in my entire life, and I cannot even begin to explain my feelings for him. 

He always offers his shoulder to cry on, he's got brilliant advice which is never wrong, he is my saviour. Without him at the moment I would honestly be a mess, I feel so comfortable with him, it's like he was meant to be in my life, I feel a connection to him that I have never felt with anyone before. I love him, and I am not scared to admit that. I don't think he knows just how much I actually do love him. He's always telling me how much he does love me, but he's good with words, so he would know what to say, and I never do, so this is my way of explaining just how much I do love him.

I miss him when I'm not with him, even when he's walked me home, as soon as I'm through the door I miss him. I can't concentrate on anything without thinking of him, and then I go into these day dreams and doing anything seems pointless without him doing it by my side. I get insanely jealous of every single girl that talks to him, i mean, insane! I think it's healthy to jealous in a relationship, it shows just how much you care. I don't want to be without him, if anything were to happen I would just break down, he's my rock, and I can't be without him.
He's a gentleman, he has to do everything properly. He refuses to let me walk him home, because then he doesn't know if I'm safe. He thinks he has to pay for me if we go on a date. He always does little things, like opens doors for me, and pulls my chair out for me, and makes sure if we're walking down a muddy path that's slippy together I go first so if I slip he can catch me. Little things like this don't go amiss with me, and i love them all!
Everything's easy with him, if he's angry at me (which isn't often) he'll talk to me about it, rather than just plain shouting at me. He's the most genuine guy, what you see is what you get, and I love everything I see! Being with him is the simplest thing on Earth, I can't explain it!
I want him to know, that I know he has a big decision to make at the moment, but I'm here every single step of the way, supporting him and loving him, and he knows my thoughts on the matter!
I'm glad I can share everything with you, every secret I'm comfortable telling you, it doesn't feel like a strain at all, and I know this feeling is returned, you feel like you can tell me anything, I adore the bond we have.

So yes, we haven't been together long, but I feel a connection to you, and I feel so close to you, and I love you. Simple.

Jaye Oliver O'Farrell Stevens, you are, and always will be my first love, nothing and nobody in the world can change that, and I wouldn't have it any other way!