Tears dry on their own..

I cried on somebody today, who I didn't want to cry in front of, at least not this early in the game. It was other something silly and trivial and I wish that I hadn't now. But he helped me see things clearer and realise that getting angry and shouting about things isn't going to help my problems. How will shouting make my Mum stay here with me? It wont..

Sometimes tears take over me, and I don't know why. The other day for instance, nothing spectacularly bad had happened to me, I had been feeling a little stressed the days before this, but I thought I was fine. I walk into my Dad's house, carry my stuff upstairs, and started crying. Full on, body wrenching tears. It was horrible, I was there at least 20 minutes, then my Dad realised and came sprinting up the stairs.

I'm not going to lie to you, I think to be honestIi have quite a lot of bad stuff going on in my life at the moment. How many people do you know who's Mum leaves them, for a man, and goes abroad. You may have come across this before, but me? Never. I never expected that person to be me. Ever. The thing I find the hardest is that I'm close to my Mum, I can literally tell her anything. Who else can I cry on now, without burdening them? You may be thinking "Oh you have all your friends", but they have their own problems, and I'm not the type of person who puts my needs before others. I couldn't have them trying to deal with and sort out my problems for me, that's not something I feel comfortable doing. I've had plenty of people offer their shoulder for me to cry on, because the next couple of months are going to be extremely hard on me, but I can't burden other people with my problems, their mine, and their not the type of problems that can be solved.

Thank you all the people that have offered their shoulders, and I will accept most of your help at some point over the next couple of months, no doubt, but I wont make a habit of it. As someone so rightly told me today, I can't rely on other people to sort out my problems for me, what do I do when they leave? I will use you guys. Simple as that. I know that sounds horrible, but I wont use you in a bad way, because while I'm using you, I'm not burdening you with all my problems.

As the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

So, thank you for the next couple of months, I know you will all help me. But if one day I don't turn to you for help, I turn to someone else, don't think I don't appreciate everything you would have done for me, I'm just not trying to burden you with my problems.

My tears will dry on their own :')